PART
III. CONTAINING COUNSELS CONCERNING THE PRACTICE OF VIRTUE
CHAPTER
XVII. On Friendship: Evil and Frivolous Friendship. Francis de Sales
Introduction to the Devout Life.
Love
ranks first among the passions of the soul, it is king of every
motion of the heart; it turns all the rest to itself, and it renders
us like to that which we love. Be on guard, then, Philothea, to not
have an evil one, for in just the same way you would become totally
evil. And friendship is the most dangerous love of all, because any
other love might exist without communication, but friendship being
totally founded thereon, one can hardly have it with someone without
sharing in his attributes.
Not
all love is friendship, for one may love without being loved, and
then there is love but not friendship; insofar as friendship is a
mutual love; and, if it is not mutual, it is not friendship. It is
not enough that it should be mutual, but the parties who love each
other must be conscious of their reciprocal affection; because, if
they do not know it, they would have love but not friendship. With
that there must be some sort of communication between them, which
should be the solid foundation of friendship.
According
to the various communications the friendship also varies, and the
communications vary according to the different goods in which they
share. If they are false and vain things, the friendship is false and
vain; if they are true goods, the friendship is true. And, the more
excellent the goods the more excellent will the friendship be;
because, just as honey is best which is culled from the choicest
flowers, so friendship built upon the highest and purest
communication is the best. And just as in Heraclea Pontica there is a
poisonous honey which makes those who eat it lose their senses,
because it is gathered from the aconitum, which
abounds in that region, so the friendship which is based on
false communication and viscous goods is entirely false and evil.
Friendship
based on sensual pleasure is totally gross and is unworthy of being
called friendship; as is also that which is based on frivolous and
vain virtues, because those virtues also depend on the senses. I call
sensual pleasures those which attach immediately and principally to
the exterior senses, such as the pleasure of seeing beauty, of
hearing a sweet voice, of touching, and the like. I call frivolous
virtues certain vain abilities and characteristics which which weak
minds call virtues and perfections. Listen to most girls, women and
young people; they don't hesitate at all to say that such-and-such a
gentleman is very virtuous, he has many perfections, because he
dances well, he plays all sorts of games well, he dresses well, he
sings well, he is affectionate, he is good-looking. And charlatans
have the greatest buffoons as the most virtuous among them. And,
since all these things regard the senses, so the friendships which
come from them are called vain and frivolous, more fitly to be called
trifling than friendship. They are typical of the friendships among
youth, who focus on moustaches, on hair, on earrings, on clothes at
the funeral and at the hair salon. Friendships proper to the age of
lovers who do not yet have any virtue which fills them nor the
judgment to hold them together. Such frienships are but passing, and
they melt like snow in the sun! + (Plinthos translation)
Friendships
are like the elevator, they either bring you up or they bring you
down. “You are the salt of the earth, you are the light of the
world,” says the Lord. Matt. 5:13 Which means the world should become better,
genuinely tastier, even more delicious, brighter, more delightful,
more nourishing and smarter because you were there! Your life should
make things clearer for people. They should see better because of
you. To counsel the doubtful, to instruct the ignorant, to reprimand
the sinner are all necessary works of mercy (in the year of mercy
above all!). People's sense of supernatural taste should improve and
their appetites for God should become more refined, more discriminate
and more temperate because of you.
Actually,
and this is the most important point, it's not actually because of
you but rather because of the salt which you dispense and the light
which you emit. Notice that the salt and the light are not your
invention. Christ says of Himself: “I am the light of the world.” Jn. 8:12 The light is His. It is His light which enlightens men! It has its
own distinct nature and you are simply the minister—you receive it
and faithfully pass it on from the Lord and for the Lord, and,
indeed, to the Lord, for He says “whatever you did to the least of
my brothers you did it to me.” Matt. 25:40 And you need to be constantly
replenished by going to the Source: Christ. Be a true friend of
Christ, in His Church, and you will bring salt and light, truth and
goodness to your friends and foes. All for the sake of mercy,
misericordia, (heart!) beyond, far beyond the surface, joining in the
plights of men for the glory of God.
What
is more, do not forget the first Light bearer, the first friend of
God, the Most Blessed Virgin Mary. Befriend Her Who delivered Him to
the world, especially as you celebrate this Annus a Virginis partu
2016. Faustum et felicim annum a Virginis partu MMXVI (duo millesimum
decimum sextum) precor vobis!
