Improving Your Cheap Brandy!

To make good old Brandy out of Vile Stuff

(1) Pour it through the air into a large receptacle, e.g. from the top of the stairs into a bath below.

(2) Put it into bottles, with a plum in each bottle.

(3) Stand it up with no corks in the bottles, for some 2 or 3 days, even a week--or 3 weeks.

(4) Put in a drop of Maraschino into each bottle.

The bottles are now old Brandy, and you can give them funny names and drink the stuff out of big glasses and roll it around, warming it with your hands and smelling it like a dog.

Hillaire Belloc, Advice, the very last page.